I’m not endorsing his methods in any way, shape, or form. I think they’re downright demonic and inhuman.
Who are you talking about?
I’m talking about Beau, my mother’s evil Bengal cat.
He’s actually a sweetheart but if he wants something… he gets it.
Beau decided that in order to be a true wild cat, the collar had to go.
He would come home everyday without a collar and bloodied fur. Usually it wasn’t his own blood. We thought that he was losing the collar in his daily fights but when he started coming home clean and collarless that’s when we knew something was up.
They always say the same three words.
“I’m so sorry….”
The neighbor would then show us the collar, but my mom’s used to the routine by now so she’s quick to reassure the bearer of ‘bad’ news.
We had a cycle of 7 collars going so once one came off, we put on a new one until that one came off and was found by a nearby neighbor.
Beau caught on and realized that other people were bringing his symbol of domesticity back so he resorted to a final solution. For 7 days straight he returned without a collar and none of the neighbors have found any of our previously cycled 7 collars. Our theory at this point is that he buried them underground somewhere, far out of human reach.
We caved, the cat has not wore a collar for the past few months.
I’ve heard that Bengal cats are wild and hard to housebreak. That hasn’t been the case for us, Beau never went anywhere except for the litter box. He would usually come home before dark for his favorite meal.
However he didn’t come home for three days so my traumatized mother declared that Beau was to never go back outside.
The first three days were agonizing for everyone with working eardrums. Bengal cats unfortunately have a massive vocabulary of beautiful and terrible sounds. Beau screamed and screamed but my mother refused to cave.
Finally on the 7th day the house was quiet again. Too quiet.
Soon enough we realized why Beau stopped howling… He had gone through the whole house, peeing on every couch, chair, and bed.
The next day my mom let him back out and he hasn’t peed on anything ever since.